Why..

Why do the smallest of things upset me, why does everything always feel like a battle? Why is trying to be me so difficult? I don’t want to hurt people, i don’t want to push people away. Why do i do things without thinking?

Life’s getting the better of me and it’s not all working out the way i thought it would really. I know that i have someone i can talk to and thank you Tom for being there for me to talk to, you’re great and i couldn’t ask for a better friend.

I do things to myself and then think why did i do that? I have no idea what’s up with me at the moment and i just wish it’d all go away so i could start over. My Family are so important to me and i hate not being in a nice mood for them, i don’t want to make living with me impossible. I’m sorry Tom for not being more supportive.

On the otherhand, there are people who make me feel better, some who just make me smile without even trying and i love having friends who can do that. I can never thank them enough because i wouldn’t be pulling through this at the moment without them.

Today.. Mum’s gone to hospital. Jo’s coming. Tom’s spending another night away. Daddy’s at work. It’s all go, and i’m sat here doing pretty much nothing apart from crying and if i’m honest, my eyes hurt. I keep glancing up and a note on my wall “Katie Charlotte loves you” that just shows me what i had and what i lost in such a short space of time.

Life’s changing. I wish it wouldn’t.